A page from my diary!
Not many days are left before I come back to Sweden – what seemed like an eternity (16 months) is almost about to be over.
It has been an inspiring journey so far, so many experiences, so many things – and so many memories that had been long forgotten.
You would be wondering why am I writing this – Zapper News are a news agency, there standard must have really dropped when they are having people who are writing about their diaries in the website. The truth is – sometimes you just get too overwhelmed by emotions that you feel you must connect with your readers (if there are any).
21st April seems to be much closer now – my assignment will be over here and I am wondering how things will be when I will be back. A new start – another new journey but until that happens there are things here that need to be done.
I have been a bit unwell and it has hampered me dearly over the last month or so and although things seem to be improving, it seems like an eternity.
The other day I was watching a cricket match, apparently it is the only sport that Pakistan plays or is good at – sadly the halcyon days are over for the country even in this sport. There is depression visible in the air, I have not been part of empires but that is how it must have felt when the empires were about to sink to oblivion. The mentions about the glorious past become ever to frequent, the gloom in the current predicament ever so visible – if only things could stop declining but they never do.
Ebb and flow, up and down – in one word; life!!
My own book is half way, I have been stuck – writers block, lack of interest and slight inconvenience because of health have all been part of the problem but more so, I am a bit afraid that what will happen if I manage to complete it. There gripping fear of failure, the sinking feeling of what-if.
I am a believer in destiny; luckily every risk that I have taken so far has been worthwhile. How far will it continue, how long will the happy go lucky nature of me continue to find solace in wilderness. Will I always remain a vagabond – a soul wandering across the planet in an endless search?
Not sure whether this is what you wanted to read, not sure whether this will even be something that is worth publishing but sometimes, my inner feelings are hard to suppress. I have been unable to do field interviews and stayed away from the news more or less. A period of self-reflection may be
If anything, even right now, I can feel that even though as the future seems scary, it is something that I cannot wait to see unfold. Those of you, who seem to be like me, afraid of the future – worry no more, you are not alone. My prayers, dreams and hopes for all of you … Live long and Prosper!!!
Author: Zak Hades – Serbia
source foto: pinterest